Here's the pitch: It's an irish rom-com. Richard Gere plays a wealthy farmer who owns two pigs, a horse and some chickens. He happens upon a poor but vibrant peasant whore and becomes enamoured. He woos her with fresh chicken eggs and thrill rides on his cart, capturing her heart and whisking her off to a dream cottage with glass in the windows. Brenda Fricker is on board.
... and that's why you never teach yourself lessons.
Shine on you arsecandles!