Monday, July 26, 2010

Monday Mindache must consult the chicken bones.




my ps3 is having an identity crisis. it thinks its a ps2. it won't play ps3 games or blu-rays but plays ps2 games and dvds no bother. its also very sensitive, turning on when someone walks past it. maybe it has an inferiority complex, couldn't take the pressure.

my phone is a prick. it turns on and off at will, deletes and rearranges my messages and takes photos only when it feels like it. it tries to unsettle me sometimes by flickering its button lights brightly for hours, like horror film lighting or something. dick.

without warning, my laptop shuts down when it overheats. i have no say in this. it has the courtesy to save my stuff before shutdown, but if i dare ask it to reactivate before its ready i'm met with blunt refusal and loss of saved stuff, like its saying "well, if you're gonna be like that...".

my dvd player won't acknowledge the existence of some of my dvds. others it won't play, stating plainly that they're "wrong". art is subjective, douchebag.

my mp3 player was installed with consciousness stem cells and attuned to my frequency by buddhist monks, so it knows just the right songs for my moods and senses when i desire a particular one. thats why its a zen.


THING STUFF:
- gangsta rapper. gang rappist.
- BP claim ownership of the wind and declare war on the ocean. all refreshing summer breezes are now taxed.
- large hadron collider proves to be fruitless: sold to disneyland paris as new ride.
- tom cruise comes out: "yes, i am not funny."
- benicio del toro: too fat and rich, lives in a palace made of golden ice-cream and eats money both for sustenance and sexual kicks.
- disney corporation grants wish to a bratz doll and transforms her into a real girl. selena gomez's album is in stores now.
- pope admits to past indescretions: "c'mon, it was the seventies, everyone was doing it!"

4 comments:

  1. Bah, you're always out doing me, I build 2 feet high cardboard letters and you go and build two robots 140 stories tall!

    As for your technology problem, they should obviously just call any and every electrical product a "Zen".

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  2. ha i love these rants, i wish they didnt hurt my eyes and glow in between the lines of text? uh it makes me sleepy.

    also, i have this love affair with my wacom, it wants my to draw ladies on it all the time. i of coarse just jump at the chance. i cant think of a place to penetrate it and i would even be sure if it was consensual? ( this is how i spelled that 'consentual' these are the options spell check gave me? consent , consequential , consensus, consequent? how am i meant to understand which one is wright with my dyslexia , surly someone with dyslexia would rely on such a gizmo ? comon! wheres the hart?

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  3. COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!

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  4. I hate it when your mouse does that! Way cool!

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